Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim?

I wanted to put pink/purple/red highlights in my hair.(not all of those colors just one) my friends and I also wanted to start a band(but no go out anywhere, just for fun). So me and my friends planned to highlight our hair for our band and I just wanted to put highlights in my hair cuz I wanted to. My mom keeps saying no cuz she says "thats not wat a "good" girl would do." im not planning to get any guys attention or something, i just wanna dye my hair. shes knos that im not doing it for any guys and i've told her im not turning into "a slutty girl" but she keeps saying no.

how can i convince her? does she keep saying no cuz she's musilm. my dad doesnt say anything, he just listens to my mom..plz help!!!

im 15, shouldn't i be able to make my own desisions??

Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim?

When my daughter was a teenager, I decided it was important to choose what really mattered. All young people like to explore their identities in unique ways. Many of these ways change over generations and so parents struggle to understand why on earth they would want to do that. For my daughter, I told her that she could do anything that was not permament, hair color, non-permanent peircing (if it grows closed!), etc., but no tattoos or anything that she would be asking me years later how I could have let her do it! :-) This worked out well for us.

I think that if we find a fair middle ground with our kids, they are less likely to rebel and feel that we do not try to understand them. The better we can communicate with each other, the more trust there is and the happier we all are. You are going into the period where your parents will be learning to release varying levels of control and sometimes it takes them a little time to relax

If it is harmless, then I say, let them play. As unique hair accents are quite common and not ruled out by the schools, it is clearly not a severe issue.

Have your mom read this article and especially the section titled "Pick your battles".

If this does not work, try a negotiation with her. Tell her that you would like to try it for one week and if she still believes that it is unacceptable, you will return it to natural. If this works, I would start out subtle, so it is not as shocking and then as she gets used to it, you can play with it more. If this does not work, I'd tell her that you will accept this decision for now, but that you will bring it up again in a month and you'd like her to think about it during that time. Try to STAY calm and let your maturity speak for itself. If you are making good choices for yourself and are respectful, she will learn to give you room to be a teenager.

As far as making your own choices, that will continue to develop. The truth is that it is not easy to be a teenager, nor the parent of teenagers! (I have been both :-). As parents can make rules to govern their families, if you make choices outside of those rules, then of course, there are usually consequences. You are a good kid as you are following the rules, but wanting consideraton to allow for more personal freedom. That is normal and it is normal for your mom to be afraid of her little girl growing up and doing what she sees as crazy things. :-) It is up to you to help her see it is really a small thing and for you, very important.

GOOD Luck!!

(email me if you wish to!)


Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim? are under age..and young....listen to mommy and religion could be a reason...

I would respect her not change your hair color you wil look like a retard...God Bless....and about starting a band...well I think that could just be a hobby...and stuff...

Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim?

get extentions; this way if your mom starts to have a problem with it they can just be taken out. ask her about it first obviously.

my mom started letting me dye my hair when i was thirteen, it was in baby steps, though. first it was just getting my roots, then it was getting natural highlights, then dying it a different color, then crazy colors like purple and stuff. so if you wanna do it that way, ask her if you can.

Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim?

A suggestion. If you want color streaks in your hair for the band but mom won't let you dye your hair, you could get some clip-ins. I think Manic Panic sells some on their website. They come in different colors. You just trim them to the right length of your hair and clip them in (usually under a the top layer of hair so the clip doesn't show).

Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim?

Technically you do not have the right to make your own decisions until you are at least 18 years old. I know it seems harsh to you, but your mother is only doing what she thinks is best for you. I am not a Muslim, but I do understand about female modesty, and I think the way that your mother views the situation is that pink or any other color in your hair is not modest. Whether you intend to draw attention to yourself or not, having things about your dress that stand out does draw attention to yourself. And your mother does not want you to lose your innocence too soon. Just sit down and talk to your mother about it. Ask her what it means to be a "good girl". That way you can understand better what your parents expect of you. You might also explain to your mother how it feels to be different from your friends. Living a modest lifestyle in a typically immodest world is difficult for a young woman your age, but the older you get, I think you will start to understand your mother more and more.

Why won't my mom let me do it cuz shes Muslim?

uh, part of it could be. first of all, its haram for muslim women to sing in u said, talent shows and all that.

secondly, its haram not to wear hijab.

wait till ur older, tho, u might change ur mind. about the red highlights, try henna. its a lot healthier for ur hair. u gotta have brown hair for it to work tho.

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